It's the Friday night after the first week of school. There are parties going on, but I don't really feel like going out tonight. So why am I sitting half naked in my dorm room right now? Isn't that the question. I feel fine, and I have friends at parties right now so I would feel comfortable over there. For some reason though, I feel right now as if I don't deserve to have fun at parties. I've been ingrained to think "work, then play" and I haven't really gotten any work done. Nothing school wise has been accomplished and there are still clean clothes bunched up under my bed just waiting to be put in my drawers. I want to prove to myself that I can be a responsible student before I go haywire at frat houses each weekend. I want to show myself how I can discipline myself about my time.
Tomorrow I plan on waking up early to go running in the ARC or around the arboretum. Then cracking open my Calculus book and doing some problems. After that I'll probably start feeling more set into the student life that I want to live. If I went to AEpi tonight or Pike, I would feel like I didn't deserve having the fun I could presumably have. I guess I'm just weird like that.
College is something that I want to make important. I want my classes to be a top priority, and I am promising myself tonight to never aim for a grade C in a class.
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